#highly recommend if you feel the way I do
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
angel on his shoulder: happy birthday (op81)
mean!oscar x sweet!reader
summary: oscar struggles to find the perfect gift for your birthday
notes: again, he’s not really mean, but idk what to call him now
wc: 1533
prev. part
You had somehow managed to do it, to worm your way into Oscar’s life, to make yourself a permanent part of his day. What was once passing glances had now turned into soft smiles and quiet conversations. He looked forward to seeing you everyday, to talking with you.
He started saving a seat for you whenever he ate lunch, or sitting closer to Lando during meetings, so he could sit closer to you. He longed to be at the receiving end of your smiles and laughs, and mentally cheered when he was.
Of course spending more time with you meant spending more time with Lando as well. Oscar didn’t dislike Lando, not at all, but Lando could occasionally be… a bit much. Especially when he was wiggling his eyebrows at him for simply talking with you.
He was sitting in the training room at the MTC one day, getting ready to begin his workout when he feels an arm around his shoulders. He turns to see Lando smirking down at him.
“Hey.” He says.
“Hey yourself.” Lando replies. “What are you up to?”
Oscar furrows his eyebrows and looks around the gym. “What do you think?”
Lando rolls his eyes, but smiles as he walks towards a set of weights.
“Is, uh, is Y/n coming around?” Oscar tries to sound casual, but hearing Lando snort makes his face flush.
“To stay with me while I work out? I doubt she’d be interested in that.” He scoffs. “But I bet she’d be more interested if she knew you were here too.”
“What?” Oscar spurts. “Why would she?” He can feel his face burning up.
“No reason.” Lando says, teasingly. “Hey, what are you doing for next week?”
Oscar furrows his brows. “What’s going on next week?”
“Y/n’s birthday.” Lando answers. “You didn’t know?” He turns to look at Oscar.
Oscar tries to think back, wondering if you’ve mentioned your birthday.
“Well it’s next week. I’m throwing a party for her. You can come if you want.”
Oscar nods. “Yeah, yeah I’ll be there.”
Lando grins. “Good. She’ll be glad to hear that.”
Oscar tries to hide the blush he feels spreading on his cheeks.
“I’ve already got her gift picked out and wrapped. Not by me, of course. It’d look like I was handing her a wad of paper.”
“Gift?” Oscar asks. He feels panic beginning to rise in his chest.
“Yeah, gift. It’s a birthday.” Lando laughs. “You have to get her a gift.”
“Right.” Oscar murmurs. He stands up. “I think I’m done here, for the day.” With that he walks out of the training center, gym bag slung over his shoulder, his gaze locked on the ground as he leaves.
“Didn’t even see him do anything.” Lando mumbles to himself.
Oscar spends the rest of the day wracking his brain for something, anything to get you for your birthday. He could get you jewelry? But that seems too intimate. Money? Too casual.
He sits alone while he eats his lunch, staring off into space as he eats, trying to think of something.
“Hey, Os. You okay?” You ask softly placing your food down on the table next to him.
He snaps out of his thoughts, looking at you wide-eyed.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
You laugh. “I don’t know, you’ve got this weird look on your face.”
He shakes his head. “No I don’t.”
“Okay, fine.” You laugh.
Oscar sighs, looking back at his food, but out of the corner of his eye he sees a book on your lap.
“What’s that?” He asks.
“Oh,” you smile, lifting the book to put it on the table. “It’s the book I’m reading right now.”
Oscar looks at the cover.
“It’s actually like, the tenth time I’m reading it.” You say.
Oscar snorts. “Why?”
“It’s my favorite book.” You shrug. “It’s so good. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it.”
Oscar hums.
“No, seriously, it would be so nice to have someone to talk to about it.” You whine. “I tried to get Lando to read it, and do you know what he said? He said ‘I’ll wait for the movie’. Can you believe that?” You ask.
Oscar laughs. “That sounds about right.” He watches as you push the book to the side to eat your lunch. “Hey, I gotta go, but I’ll see you later.”
“Oh, okay, see you.”
Oscar tries not to let the way your shoulders slump affect him. He gathers his things, and leaves you sitting there, pulling out his phone as he walks away.
After work Oscar goes to several different shops, looking for that damned book. He’s just about to give up, when he finally finds one lone copy. He keeps it tucked close to his chest as he walks to the checkout counter, as if afraid someone’s going to try to pry it from his hands.
He spends any free time he has for the week with his nose in the book. He brings it with him to the MTC, he reads it before and after work, he feels like the book becomes a part of him.
He shows up to Lando’s apartment for your party, with his gift tucked under his arm. He’d spent about an hour on picking a shirt, then another on fixing his unruly hair.
He has to admit, he’s surprised when he walks into Lando’s apartment. It’s not the bright rave lights or loud music he’d picture Lando would pick out for a party for himself, instead it’s soft warm lighting with some soft music in the background.
“I see you’ve made it.” Lando says, when he sees Oscar. “And you’ve managed to find a gift.” He smirks. “What’d you get her?”
Oscar shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”
“Keeping it a surprise?”
Before Oscar can answer, he’s pulled into a soft hug. “Thanks for coming, Os.” He hears your voice next to his ear.
Oscar smiles, wrapping an arm around you. “Happy birthday.”
When you pull away Oscar allows himself a moment to admire you. You’re wearing a soft dress that compliments you well. He notices the small sparking stone on the necklace around your neck.
“Pretty necklace.” He says.
You lift a hand to touch the stone. “Thanks. Lando got it for me.”
Oscar feels an uncomfortable twist in his stomach. His eyes search for the brit, who has made himself scarce.
“I told him it was too much. He said it’s the least he can do for me, having to put up with him everyday.” You laugh.
Oscar gives you an unconvincing smile, awkwardly shifting the gift under his arm, the gift he’s starting to feel immensely insecure about.
“Do you want to go sit somewhere?” You ask him. “Lando invited all of these people, but I don’t think I know half of them.” You laugh.
Oscar nods, following you as you lead him to the balcony.
You each take a seat, looking out at the sun setting over Monaco. He can’t help but admire you. The sun makes you practically glow, your eyes quite literally sparkle.
“Thanks for coming, really.” You break the silence. “I appreciate what Lando’s done, but I can’t help but feel a bit… out of place.”
Oscar hums. He holds out his gift to you, figuring it’d be better to deal with the embarrassment of you thinking it’s lame out here alone, rather than inside surrounded by people.
He watches as you tear open the gift, a confused look spreading across your face as you see what it is.
“It’s my book…” You say, holding the same book you showed him at the beginning of the week, though this copy is clearly newer. “Thanks Oscar.” You say, trying to hide your disappointment.
“Open it.”
You look at him confused again. “I swear if you cut a hole in my favorite book-“
“Just open it.” He cuts you off with a smile.
You slowly open it, flipping through the first few pages, the title page, the acknowledgment, the table of contents, until you get to the first actual page of the book.
Inside, surrounding the text in the book are little notes and doodles, scrawled in messy handwriting. You flip through the pages to see them everywhere.
“You annotated it?” You ask softly.
Oscar nods. “I read it this week. I figured it would be nice for you to have someone to talk to about it.” He says. He takes a deep breath. “Look, I know it’s not great-“
“I love it.” You cut him off.
“You do?”
You nod. You had copies upon copies of this book, paperbacks, hardcovers, special editions, sprayed edges, but none of them compared to the one in your hands. The one Oscar took the time to read, then write out all of his own thoughts for you. It felt like you were holding a piece of him in your arms.
“Yeah, I love it. Thank you.” You murmur, pulling him into a hug.
Oscar feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders as he wraps his arms around you. He smiles to himself, feeling like he’s successfully planted himself in your heart now.
266 notes
·
View notes
Text
Have You Read This MCYT Fic?
Inspired by @haveyoureadthisfanfic! Banner art by @wassup-its-e
Submission Form | MCYT Fanfic List | Example Post
Any MCYT Fandom is allowed. This blog intends to be Non-RPF, so remember that the fics are about the characters not the creators. If you don't like something about the fics or polls, just keep scrolling. You are not required to interact with content that you don't wish to see.
Reblogs and the like will not be monitored closely, and this blog is not responsible for the actions of others. That being said, please do not put down (say negative things about) a fic, that fic's author, or fans of that fic. I do not care to see it, nor does anyone else, so only comment and/or interact if what you have to contribute is positive.
The posts will also include the author's Tumblr @ and a tag with their username if it is known. If the fic author's Tumblr is unknown, or if the fanfiction doesn't have a username attached, the post will be tagged with "author unknown". If you know the @ of an author, please dm this account or share in the ask box, and I will update the fanfic list and the associated Tumblr post.
Please try not to submit a fic someone else has already submitted! If there are repeats, I apologize, but there is no way I'm going to catch them all, so oh well; it's not the end of the world. That being said, I have set this blog up with a queue, so there should be ~10 polls/recs posted a day, give or take.
If you have positive things to say about the fic, feel free to reblog the poll with its link as a recommendation, but I highly suggest leaving a comment on the author's work if you like it! Fanfic authors write these masterpieces for free, so the least we as readers can do is comment and/or kudos/like/etc!
\o/
resources stolen from the pinned post on @deityoftherain lol
tonetag masterlist
short guide on how to tag your own fics
short guide on how to title your fics/stories
writing lessons for beginners/basic writing review (the guide above briefly covers Formatting Quotes with Dialogue Tags, Commas and Conjunctions, Capitalization, Pronouns, and Person POV with examples of usage)
mcyt writing cheat sheet (+tangotekification)
mcyt ship/duo/etc name list
how to embed images on AO3
learn about the nuances of mcyt shipping
submission form link: https://forms.gle/5rHfvA6VzwjHiZ6j9
fanfic rec list link: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1DcQwRRDPMuRFgruSbxA360YU6t7AkRHn6CeEVcZ4PFo/edit?gid=1577898752#gid=1577898752
#haveyoureadthismcytfic#answered asks#author unknown#haveyoureadthisfic#mcyt polls#mcytblr#mcytumblr#mcyt#mcyt shipping#mcyt fanfiction#minecraft youtube#fanfiction#fanfic#polls#masterpost#masterlist#pinned post#pinned info
115 notes
·
View notes
Note
aro culture is i lost a friend I've known for decades because his romantic partner demanded that i, along with many other platonic friends, should gtfo his life. I know this isn't an aros only thing but I am aro and i never thought that this shitshow would happen to me too. So it's only a matter of time before i get yeeted out of all of my friend's lives because for some reason the romantic partner is of higher importance than the platonic companions. God.
... so like. I just want to be clear: when a romantic partner insists that their partner should not have friends (whether along gender lines or not), that is either explicitly an act of abuse (isolating them from other social structures) or at minimum a red flag of emotional immaturity (ie, jealousy) that will often become a component of abuse. it is not a normal thing. it is, at times, normalized by a culture that expects unhealthy relationships, but it is a blaring red siren for problems.
there is a huge difference between the friend themself choosing to leave you and their partner demanding control over their social circle. it doesn't make being thrown to the curb hurt less, but I do highly recommend leaving the door open for him, and in some way explicitly saying he can always still talk to you, even if you are upset with him. generally, at this point, it's not worthwhile to say "I think that this person is abusing you", because the control is being initiated and is actively monitored at this stage; you saying anything bad is going to be used as why he should cut you off, because "I can't believe you'd be friends with someone who hates your romantic partner!" is a thing.
If you can, please please read up about how to help friends in emotionally abusive relationships. the main point is: be open to listening, never initiate a negative comment about the abusive individual, but if he starts it? Listen. Say how you can see that, how does he feel about it? Does he want to do anything about it? If not, you gotta learn to say "Okay. Let me know if that ever changes." and move on. If he's not ready, it's way more important that he's still able to come to you and doesn't feel pressured, because then when he is ready, he knows who has never pressured him, always listened and let him make his own choices, and offered to help.
#aro culture is#aro#actually aro#aromantic#actually aromantic#ask#mod rust#abuse cw#advice#unsolicited advice
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
Current favorite cherik fics - pt2
part 1 here
See what I mean when I say 'current'? lol anyway, heres some more. I will probably keep updating this every other week or so
To Know You Forever by sadbigchungus (Star Wars AU!!!)
High-raking Mandalorian Erik Lehnsherr is, much to his chagrin, assigned on a protection detail to solidify the new Jedi/Mandalorian alliance. His charge? None other than renowned scientist Jedi Master Charles Xavier. What he thinks will be a standard mission quickly devolves into something where the stakes are much higher, with the fate of Mandalore and the Republic hanging in the balance.
The stars incline us, they do not bind us by ikeracity, Pangea (top tier stuff, highly recommend - mind the tags!!!)
Intergalactic Federation pilot Lieutenant Charles Xavier is assigned last-minute to a high profile mission: transporting over two thousand prison inmates from an old and overfilled prison complex to a newer, higher-capacity prison stronghold located on the outer reaches of the galaxy. Just as he's settling down for a long and uneventful ride, things take a turn for the worse after the inmates riot and stage a hostile takeover of the ship, leaving Charles to find himself at the complete mercy of cold-blooded killers and facing the chilling prospect that he might not ever make it back home alive.
Special Topics in Mutant Studies by populuxe
The trouble with Charles Xavier isn’t just that he teaches genetics and holds terrible views about mutant rights—it’s also becoming increasingly clear that everyone but Erik seems to love him.
The Eldest of the Gods by lapetitesinge
It's 1928, and sixteen-year-old Charles Xavier is intrigued by the new boy joining him at Eton College. He's thrilled to realize that they may be alike in more ways than one, but there's more standing between them than he can possibly guess.
Playing House by ClarkeStetler, Goosenik
Erik Lehnsherr has been 'fighting for mutant rights' for the last couple years. Some might call it terrorism, but those people were narrow-minded. Unfortunately, this means that when Magda Maximoff died, no one was able to locate him to let him know that his children were without a guardian. Charles Xavier was selected as their foster parent instead, and had been doing an excellent job for the past year. Erik is back now and has no intention of being separated from his children, but working together for the kids is easier said than done. In a different situation— some anonymous bar in some overpopulated city, perhaps— Erik would absolutely have been interested. He was slender and looked about Erik’s age, but his eyes took up the majority of his face and were almost alarmingly blue. His dark curls looked like they were made for a hand to fist in. His anger was nearly palpable, sparking off him in waves that Erik could physically feel. Under any other circumstance, he’d be attracted, would have immediately started things working to get the pretty little Englishman back to his place. Not this circumstance. “You will not,” the Brit snarled at Erik, “Not be taking custody of my children.”
#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#xmen#cherik fic#cherik fic rec#cherik au#fic rec#current favorite
33 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do you have any advice for a novice writer who can’t for the life of them figure out how to begin a story and/or scene? I’ve been slowly working on a novel in my free time for the last couple of years, and I feel like I have a decently solid plot and outline, but every time I go to start the actual process of putting words on paper I always get stuck. I’ve gone back and read the first few pages/chapters of other fantasy books to see how published authors do it, but I can never seem to find the right words or starting point that feels authentic and fitting to my own work. It always feels so clunky and out of place, and although I try to follow the ‘rule’ of starting the story in the middle of the action/a moment of change so that it doesn’t feel boring, nothing I come up with seems to help things flow into the beginning of the plot :/
ugh that's hard because actually forcing yourself to write is truly the hardest part. a lot of it is just nerves. like genuinely you're just experiencing stage fright.
that's why i love using tumblr as a micro-writing platform. when i make stupid little posts here, it feels low effort and i don't attach any anxiety to it, and actually that helps a lot when later on i take bits and pieces of stuff i've written here and add it to larger works (if you were following me when I was actively writing "landscape with honey" or "superstore" you'll remember i took a lot of asks that i'd already answered and just shoved them into the fic).
i highly recommend making a word cloud or vocabulary list for yourself if you're trying to cultivate a specific atmosphere as well. i have one on my phone for random words that i want to use.
then i think it might be helpful for you to try and break it down piece by piece. like if you have a scene where a character is packing a suitcase in order to catch a train, just focus on the first part where they're packing their belongings. there isn't a 'right' way to start a story or write something, so don't beat yourself up because the paragraph/sentence doesn't match perfectly what's in your head. the first draft is always going to be rough as well.
try to think of it like when an artist starts a piece. usually they start with simple shapes that they slowly add on to. you can think of your first draft kind of like this:
(image source)
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
interlude - 2
married buddie | 300 words
I didn't plan to write a ch2 but I woke up with this idea stuck in my head and just HAD to write it. Hope you like it! 🥰 Can be read separate to ch1 but if you want more fluff I highly recommend it!
Waking up to the sun streaming in through the window, Eddie stretched and turned his head to look for Buck, but his husband wasn't in bed. He frowned, wondering where he could be, and then heard the tell-tale sounds of Buck in the kitchen.
Smiling to himself, he relaxed back against the pillows.
Then he suddenly remembered the night before and his eyes snapped open.
Making his way to the kitchen with his shoulders hunched, Eddie chewed on his bottom lip nervously. Buck was cooking omelettes for breakfast which looked and smelled delicious, but Eddie didn't feel worthy of them.
"Morning!" Buck said brightly, turning to smile at him. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Eddie sidled up to Buck, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his shoulder to hide. "I'm sorry I fell asleep," he mumbled.
"What?"
"Last night," Eddie went on without raising his head. "We were gonna have sex and then I fell asleep on you right after saying I couldn't."
"Eddie," Buck said, turning and sliding a hand into his hair so he could gently lift his head and look into his eyes. "Please don't apologise for falling asleep."
"Weren't you disappointed?" Eddie asked quietly.
"No!" Buck cupped his face in his hands and kissed his nose. "Of course I wasn't disappointed. I got to watch you sleep!"
"Creep," Eddie teased, a smile making its way onto his face. "You mean it, though? You weren't upset?"
"Upset that my beautiful husband who sometimes struggles with insomnia managed to get a solid five hours of sleep last night?" Buck asked, raising his eyebrows. "No, Eddie, I wasn't upset. Seeing you blissfully passed out on the pillow was even more satisfying than an orgasm."
"Dork."
"You love me."
"Yeah," Eddie said, kissing him softly. "I really do."
#buddie#buddie fic#buck x eddie#buddie 911#evan buckley/eddie diaz#evan buckley#eddie diaz#disaster writes#usermoonsharky
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dick Grayson x South Asian!Reader HCs
requested | reader is fem; like with Jason's hc post, I tried to keep it non-specific to any country, hope i achieved that😬
also it's barely mentioned but as a special treat: reader is trained in Indian classical dance😏😏😏
He loves watching Bollywood movies, but gets especially into the music…like really into it
This man becomes OBSESSED with Shreya Goshal; you come early one night to find him singing along to both parts of the duet Manwa Laage from Happy New Year while doing the dishes (which, if you don't know, is a very high-pitched song). He's so off-key but so into it you don't have the heart to tell him that your neighbors texted you to ask if a feral cat got loose in your apartment💀
Then it escalates— he tries to learn Hrithik Roshan’s dance from Dhoom Again (which has nothing to do with the fact that you told him Hrithik Roshan was your childhood crush)
(if ur not desi, it starts at timestamp 0:38 I highly recommend watching it for full context it's incredible— if you are then I know you already know what i'm talking about LMAOO)
And since you're a dancer you learn it with him but he’s genuinely upset that it’s so easy for you but so hard for him
"I should be getting this! Do you know how bendy my body is?!"
For some reason I feel like he would love the strong female lead-type movies (probably because he’s so eldest daughter coded) so movies like Queen, Dangal, Chak De India, that’s his jam, but he loves Kal Ho Naa Ho when he needs a good cry
If you’ve ever seen those tiktoks of families who dress up their dogs and cats in traditional wear…you’re doing that with Haley 100%
I think Dick is familiar with hair oiling because of his Romani background, but doesn’t start doing it until you guys are dating because you do it regularly so he just starts joining you
OR he does do it, but…badly. with one of those over-priced chemical-filled Sephora brands, and he doesn’t even apply it correctly. The first time you see him do it you’re legitimately offended. You spend the entire afternoon teaching him the right way, first taking him to the Indian market (they’re in new jersey so you know there’s plenty💀) and collecting all the ingredients and explaining the benefit of each one, then going back to his place and showing him how to properly toast the herbs and spices and then warm the oil with them, how to massage it all throughout his scalp and find all the pressure points.
He’s sooo attentive and genuinely interested, plus he just loves how passionate you are about this
He loves pani puri (obviously, he’s dick and they’re balls WHO SAID THAT)
But seriously, you make them and he’s just throwing them back non stop
He calls you rani (queen), meri jaan (my love), pyaari (cutie I think)
Dick learns how to drape your sari for you— he knows where all the pins go, where to make the folds and where to tuck in the fabric. He loves how happy it makes you and how you twirl in the mirror when he’s done. Once your relationship gets more serious, he loves to buy you new ones until you have all different styles for every occasion
He loves when you wear payals. You wear them once for an event, and he encourages you to wear them around the house because the sound they make when you walk is just so pretty
Another reason why he LOVES watching you dance. The ghungroos you wear make it all the more mesmerizing
Given how flexible he is from his acrobat training, he’s great at yoga. Much better than you, and you often require his help to get the positions right. He doesn’t mind, though, as long as it means he gets to have his hands on you as he guides your body into the correct stance
Of course he’s learning your language so he can communicate with your relatives. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, though
Most teaching sessions end with tears and/or yelling
“WHY ARE THERE SO MANY POSSESSIVE PRONOUNS??? WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE SPECIFIC SCENARIO FOR EACH ONE????”
“I DON’T KNOW DICK THERE JUST ARE”
In the least foot fetish-y way possible, he thinks the tradition of wearing toe rings is so attractive. When you tell him that only married women wear them, he considers proposing just for that reason (I mean he already has the ring, so what’s he waiting for?)
Speaking of marriage (😏), he’s so excited for you to get his name hidden somewhere in your mehendi/henna. When you’re getting it done, he keeps trying to peek into the room to see if he can spot it until the artist gets fed up and locks him out😭
On your wedding night the first thing he does when you get a moment alone is start searching for it
You told him about the tradition of stealing the groom's shoes beforehand. You did not, however, tell him about the bargaining portion of the tradition
So when he and his siblings are "looking" for them (come on now, they're world class detectives, but they don't want to ruin the fun) and ultimately "give up" like "okay! you got me! where are they!" and your family starts talking about a 5-figure ransom to see them again...
He's going insane trying to tell them that his father is the billionaire, not him, but your relatives could not care less. And the whole time he knows exactly where they are but he doesn't want to be that person and make all your relatives hate him😭
He manages to coax them down to 4-figures
He wanted 3, but after your youngest cousin read him to filth ("Oh the trust fund nepo-baby can't spare some change? Is this the kind of husband you are? Is this how you plan to support your wife?"), he had no choice
You KNOW he’s doing a dance number at the reception. Bonus points if it's the Dhoom Again dance
And of course he wants you two to do a number together. When he tells you as much, he thinks it'll be fun and silly and a way to spend time together— he's wrong.
Like a true Indian classical dance teacher, you are a DRILL SERGEANT. He gets transported back to his old Robin-training days, except Bruce is 8 inches shorter and wears 5 pounds of bells around his ankles. It's worth it for the end result, though.
You obviously eat him UP but he does a very good job
Which number? I'm SO glad you asked........
It's Kala Chashma
ok this really got away from me but i loved writing it. as for kala chashma i just thought it was funny😭but if you have any other songs you think would fit i would LOVE to hear
#nightwing#batman#red hood#jason todd#dick grayson#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#batfamily#dc universe#dc comics#dcu#damian wayne#dc robin#robin#bruce wayne#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson x you#dick grayson x y/n#tim drake#red robin#batfam#batboys
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
hit there, im relatively new to , to @na and eveyrthing, but I'm trying to hard, I hate my fat ass body so much, but it's like I keep giving in to these little meals, then they become big ones, and then I'm like, "it's OK I'll start tmrw." I feel so disgusting right now and so fat, like I'll never be skinny. Do you have any tips to stop that, I want to lose like 10 kg before the 19th of December because I'm flying home and want to surprise my family with how skinny I am.
Thank you so much
Hii, haha love your username. Stop buying food that you tend to binge on, if you don’t have any food that is high calorie in your pantry worst case scenario you’ll eat lots of low calorie foods and still will be lower calorie intake than what could be 2k+
I would highly recommend that at least try to get into a workout routine and add some intermittent fasting into your diet, And don’t forget the water<3
Consume as much Ed content related, that way you can unconsciously focus into doing better every single day <3
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
SEE, I TOLD YOU I CAN MAKE ART
information below bc trust me y'all probably confused lmao
The character in this drawing is Viktor, a character from the Five Nights at Freddy's Dating Simulator "Five Nights at Flirting." The game is more of the Rebornica style (using Vincent, Chris the Janitor, etc). I highly recommend the game, it's free!
That being said, spoiler warning for that game's content, in case you haven't seen it.
Key:
OG = Original
AU = Alternate Universe
RWQ = RWQFSFASXC, Shadow Bonnie's "Name"
FNaF = Five Nights at Freddy's
FNoF = Five Nights of Flirting
"The Crew" = Day/Nightshift Guards
Viktor is one of the protagonists in the game. Not much information is out there on him, other than him being the father of another more major character, Barbie, and him being dead. He was either a day/nightshift guard or he was the owner of the building, I can't remember.
In FNoF, agony and remnant isn't part of the game. Neither is the OG Afton family. A lot of canon FNAF things is not part of the FNoF universe. If it is, it isn't explicitly said - but in my and my friend's canon, we added a LOT of FNaF lore into it. Doing this gave us the opportunity to build upon the characters and really expand the universe.
In FNoF, I believe Viktor was killed in the Fazbear's establishment. This didn't change.
What did change was the motive and the method. Dave and Jack, the murderers of the children in our canon, killed Viktor by putting him in the spring bonnie suit. Think FNaF 3 Springtrap but on a different guy.
He, alongside the dead children, haunt the building as ghosts. One major thing:
He's not malicious during the nightshift.
(here on out are ideas, headcanons, fanon lore, etc)
Viktor actually just watches. Hangs around. He feels awful for the kids and that he can't do anything to stop their rage - so he usually lingers around the night guard in the office.
I like to think that he kind of has a role on causing the hallucinations in the night guards - more specifically Mike Schmidt (NOT Michael Afton).
Only after the first establishment (FNaF 1) closes down and the crew moves to the next establishment (FNaF 2) can Mike able to see Viktor's ghost properly. He's the first one of the crew to meet him after his death, with the exception of maybe Vincent (who in our original canon, did NOT kill the kids).
Hopefully that makes sense? I might go back and edit this when I'm more coherent but this is what you're getting for now lmao
With that out of the way, let's get into the shadow bonnie thing.
Let's start off with the fact that in the beginning of this, I just wanted to spice things up. I blurted out the idea of Viktor being RWQ to my friend and have been building off of that since.
1) RWQ is never outright malicious. Not in canon games, at least. In FNaF 2, the worst he would do is crash your game. Otherwise he just existed in the office.
Viktor, like RWQ, is not outright malicious. He just watches the security guard in the office. Hoping that they'll make it through the night in peace.
I considered the original "game crash" as maybe the guard passing out from sudden shock - which leads to,
2) In our canon, Viktor slowly becomes a being of agony over time. This is going to be hard to explain.
To sum it up, agony in our canon is the lingering emotions after a major event - emotions that cannot leave and can build up over time.
I think we can agree murder would stir up some very strong emotions from the victims, right?
This explains why the children are so vengeful - because of the agony from their emotions. And, of course, the fact that they're children and aren't able to regulate such powerful emotions, taking it out on any night guard. Blinded by rage, you could say.
Viktor isn't vengeful in comparison only because he can regulate his own emotions better. He knows that the night guards aren't the ones who killed him. He knows who did, but he's trapped at the building since he died there. And because the agony of the dead children latched onto him, making him unable to leave on his own.
Over time, the agony grows more and more potent. Even if he's still passive, the first form you see of him will not be human - it will be the silhouette of what he died in. What he was killed in. A forever reminder of what happened.
I've considered the "fainting" thing because I'd imagine looking to the side and suddenly seeing "bad vibes" personified is going to give someone quite a shock.
3) When coming up with this idea, I didn't make the connection of Viktor being RWQ and the FNaF 3 mini game until way later. When I did, I must say, I pat myself on the back for finding another way to validate and explain my idea. One of the theories for that mini game was that Shadow Bonnie was an employee who got springlocked, probably forcibly. You know who else got springlocked forcibly?
Viktor.
Viktor's death is a HUGE deal in our canon. Who killed him, whether he lives or not, the method - we've considered a lot of outcomes. The most common thing of all of them is the fact that Viktor always plays a role in being a reminder of what happened at Freddy's.
Even after FNaF 3 events, he still remains - only now he's attached to Vincent (who may or may not have killed the children depending on the AU).
My friend and I are super proud of this interpretation of FNoF. We've put a lot of thought into it - and we're nowhere near done with it. A lot is subject to change. But for now we're satisfied.
Sorry for such a long ramble. I'm sure this is barely comprehendible. Feel free to comment or send in questions on anything you want to know more about; other characters, more background information - don't be shy, I don't bite :)
#my art#fnaf#fnaf fanart#five nights of flirting#five nights at freddys#five nights at freddys fangame#fnof fanart#fnof viktor#we need more viktor content#fnaf shadow bonnie#shadow bonnie#shadow bonnie fanart#tw: eyestrain#maybe?#non canon fnaf lore lmao#fanart#digital art#alternate universe#fnaf alternate universe#fnaf au#fnof au#fnof alternate universe#long#headcanons#rwqfsfasxc#fnaf rwqfsfasxc
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
My hispanic community members are already being harassed IN PUBLIC just by your average Joe, and that's before policies kick in. The Dominican women I live next to are getting verbally assaulted, made fun of that Trump won, called heinous slurs, told them to "go back where they came from" in the middle of living their lives with no changes to the policies that protect us and in a blue state. It's super important and serious to ensure that we are doing what we can to protect more vulnerable populations in the face of massive suffering that will occur.
I think it's important for everyone, but especially for white people to force yourself outside of your baked-in community. Segregation still exists in our country, and very real policies and government actions made it possible for a lot of white people to live in almost literal bubbles away from bipoc people.
Find a nonprofit like a makerspace or a community that services the unhoused. Meet regularly with them (At least once a month, preferably more) for volunteer work or community meetings. Make sure you find a group that has more varieties of people in it. Are there less than 20% people that are bipoc? You need to find another group that represents more than white people.
Go to every regular meeting that they have. Ask questions about people's lives, overhear that someone needs something you have and offer it to them- build relationships with folks! It makes it possible for you to learn more about your community, how they are impacted differently than you, and make moves to protect them. It's also possible to have multiple intersected communities!
(I THINK that this is already well known, but just in case, I would also highly recommend combining that with only asking hard questions on the internet unless you do a check-in with someone very close about if those types of conversations are okay. If there are questions digging into bipoc people's experience that are potentially an invasion of their bodies, mind, or culture, ask the internet instead of them. Bipoc folks who are willing to examine those questions have already done the emotional labor to share their thoughts and you won't be forcing them to experience pain for your education without their consent.)
Intentional community building is not something we're trained to do. We're primarily trained to have neighbors, academic peers, and co-workers for friends. For me at least, it has sometimes been uncomfortable and terrifying, and I wanted to quit a couple of times, but it has made such a difference in how fulfilled I am by the connections I have. I get to ask myself questions about who I let into the varied spheres of my life, and I get to feel so much richer in how many people I get to interact and love in different ways.
All this to say, bipoc people and other vulnerable populations are in danger, and yes... Us lighter skinned queer folk who aren't in immediate hostile danger have a higher chance of being okay. I honestly am still grappling with not knowing exactly how bad the path our country is on, and not knowing if it could veer extremely badly or if we can band together enough to protect each other and make positive change. But for now, if we already have privileges, we need to unlearn how we've been trained to socialize, and be there for the people who need it most. I want to go beyond this, but if the only thing I do is hug my friend as she cries in my arms about how scared she is to survive even greater abuses from the world around her as an older Dominican immigrant, it will be worth it.
still a lot of "we'll survive, we did before" and not enough "here's how to prepare for the promised mass deportations and fight for people who may be facing racist policies come the new year" and "here is what we can do about how the climate may get worse in the coming years"
Like. Cool that you have confirmed that you as a white queer will probably be kind of okay. I need to see more about what we're going to be doing for people of color both in this country and outside of this country that are at risk of state brutalization, increasingly dangerous natural disasters, wars......
Too much placating. Not enough discussing plans of action.
Idk about y'all but I AM really afraid of the deportations that have been threatened, especially when the racism that pairs with it goes even beyond targeting illegal immigrants (which to be clear is still awful) but legal immigrants as well, and even people that white Americans think LOOK like they might be immigrants.
Get your shit together and start talking about what people of color need because right now we DESPERATELY need the help of white people, you are the ones who are safer in the face of the cops and ICE, you are the ones that the other racist white people will actually listen to when you cover for us. Please. If you've genuinely decided that you will be okay, then start getting out there for the people that definitely won't be.
#also as a note#if anyone has questions on this topic#I am happy to share my experiences what ive learned!#good community building#lgbtq community#bipoc#intersectionality
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've seen a lot of posts about orphaning vs deleting vs posting anonymously and people exhorting authors to never ever delete their work, and I think they always make me cranky because of this:
Whatever emotional attachment a reader has to a fic will never be stronger than the emotional attachment the writer has to it.
Maybe it's not true of every fic (and I have orphaned a couple fics in the past), but writing is frequently an emotional task. The act of putting your own creations out there is an emotional act, and one that can leave you feeling very vulnerable.
I struggled for a while wanting to delete some of my works. Knowing that people would read twenty of my works in a day and move on without so much as a word made me incredibly uncomfortable. Those twenty fics comprised an entire year of my life, an entire year of daydreaming and imagining and composing. Those were all my bus rides, what I thought of as I fell asleep, where my mind wandered when I did chores. It felt like having strangers walking through my brain, looking around silently, and leaving.
I'm not going to say everyone feels that way, because I know many people do not. My point is that in putting their work into the world, authors are putting pieces of themselves into the world, an act that can leave them feeling very vulnerable, and therefore it is their right to delete it when that becomes too difficult for whatever reason. It's not a moral failing, and it's not even really taking away something from readers. Sometimes the things we enjoy are ephemeral. Easy come, easy go.
Fandom really needs to ease off on people who delete their fics.
#on writing#fanfic#ao3#for the record I got over my feelings by turning off kudos emails#highly recommend if you feel the way I do#it seriously improved my relationship to my fics and ao3 in general#I get that people love certain fics but like#the writer is just a person who made something for free and no longer wants it out there#that's legit#continuing my habit of posting random essays on Friday afternoons when people have better things to do than be on tumblr
270 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey, you're being lied to about what fitness constitutes. If you can't work in an hour-long crossfit slog, but you can work in a five-minute walk, then that is still fitness. If you can't use your legs but you can do arm circles every now and again, that is still fitness. If you're moving around at work, that's still fitness. It can be intentional or incidental, but here's the best part: your body doesn't care if you're dedicating specific work-out times. It doesn't care if the "only" fitness it gets is your nine to five on your feet. It doesn't care, fitness is fitness is fitness. Some of us do it differently, but the end result is more or less similar.
If you can do any type of fitness safely, your body isn't going to care if you're doing it like an Olympic athlete or if you're just a casual.
#fitness#gentle reminders#i hate hate hate the idea that fitness must be done Intentionally and in a Hegemonic Way#like... fitness is whatever you make of it and whatever you do#your body isn't going to be like 'well you walked for fove minutes but you didn't do shoulder presses at the gym so it doesn't count 😊'#if you want more specific forms of fitness then SURE you might want to do more specific exercises and activities#but if your goal is overall movement for however much if your body then... you don't Need to be THAT specific#and your goals may be specific for only parts of your body and that's GREAT!#a wheelchair user may for example do more arm exercises so they can use a manual chair for instance...#...and to many people i've noticed they don't think it 'counts' because the chair user isn't using 'all' of their body...#...but it's like... using your arms in non-powered chairs can be really important so like. it's still fitness.#you don't actually have to equally focus on everything if you don't want to or can't#all this to say that fitness is Not hegemonic and you don't need to feel shame about what you do or don't do#even a tiny tiny TINY amount is significant and matters <3#this is definitely something i've gotten more passionate about since becoming a ~gym bro~#because you see just how different people are and what they want out of fitness#and it's taught me a lot more about my own disabilities and how i work with (and even against) them to find balance#this is what i love about those fitness video games too! because they're often made to be engaging and fun!#i LOVED just dance as a kid and that was fitness merging with video games (and i loved video games (still do!))#and i HIGHLY recommend people get video games like just dance or that one nintendo ring game because of these elements!#it combines the comfort of home with movement with engaging music/story/video game elements#and things like that make me believe in peace and love and care on planet earth <<3
151 notes
·
View notes
Note
any thoughts/opinions on vikdecai?
i don’t believe i have any complex thoughts that haven’t already been said by the community at large! mostly my opinions just correlate to a very fond i like them, since mordecai kneecapping viktor in order to save himself from having to hurt him later is really one of the first things that humanizes his character. makes you realize he’s not nearly as cold or practical as he tries leading you to believe -- a front that unravels further given his atlas obsession. and i like that! my favorite thing about mordecai is his subtle longing for the lackadaisy crew, how much he doesn’t wish to hurt them, and how venomously he loathes his current life … what he’s doing now isn’t what he wants to currently be doing, but merely what must be done for his goal, one which is already layered in lackadaisy sentiment. so his bond with viktor is important to me, given how much it highlights this inner struggle and earnest truth within his character. but then again, this can also be applied to mordecai’s relationship with mitzi, atlas, and ivy, so let me discuss them in a more romantic sense. which i’m sure is what this question is trying to get at!
romantically, i view mordecai and viktor’s dynamic as … favorable? it’s entirely plausible there were feelings there, an intimacy only they shared as men inside atlas’ arsenal, people who were entirely knowledgeable of the lackadaisy’s nasty underbelly. it’s their slaughter of people deserving and of many, many innocents that help their boss’s speakeasy run, and this violence ( this constant watching one another’s back ) would only breed closeness in spite of the horror it’s built on. and, of course, they have core things in common outside of their job and efficiency for bloodsport! like their love for family, their devotion towards those who matter most, and how out of place they equally feel on this soil - - in this world and era, where everything feels like it’s out to get them in some way or another. their ability to connect beyond their surface level traits and quirks ( mordecai and viktor are very much opposites on their surface, and they have a habit of bickering about these differences, albeit lightheartedly ) demonstrates the profoundness of what they have and what they’d do to protect it. they care for one another in little gestures, insignificant to most but in a way that truly matters to them … as they can see the genuineness in it, since they’re putting themselves into the careful actions and aren’t just doing things for politeness sake. for example, mordecai tries adorning them in matching cloth so they’re two equal halves, symmetrical, and then we have viktor who pocketed mordecai’s glasses to give him later when they were done with their mission. i like to imagine there are more things like this in their relationship! stuff that isn’t as severe as life or death, like saving your friend’s skin by a mere inch or dragging each other to a finish line every day. any of atlas’ men can offer that. it’s the extra things, done out of agency and personal desire, that bring them closer than any other regular joe on atlas’ payroll. it’s rather clear that they were close canonically, and that viktor was perhaps mordecai’s closest friend in a way that atlas could never be due to the pedestal he was constantly put upon. and while we have less insight on viktor’s feelings, i’d imagine the betrayal has never, and will never, fully heal. it is not a wound he can easily patch up, and it isn’t something one could just forget either. how can you dismiss someone who used to be your hands and eyes and ears? when you two functioned as another man’s extra body in your entirety? you may as well have shared a mind when out on the field, and that’s a closeness and a trust which is hard to lose. viktor hardly lets anyone in as is, just as anti social as his spectacles wearing companion, so to lose that in such a violent was is an unspeakable pain he bears, i’m sure. mordecai took whatever remained of his life from him with that shot. he’s permanently robbed viktor the ability to defend the last few hairs he cares to protect. his purpose is now up in the air. and all this anguish from someone he completely and utterly believed in … there is a lot of hurt, is what i’m saying. a hurt that’s too deep and life altering for it not to be supremely personal too. it’s deep and festering and viktor ignores it, and mordecai ignores it, mostly, but sometimes his paw strays near his wound and he itches at it, and it reopens the ache all over again. there is metaphor to be found there! an abandonment and a departure that leaves you bloodied from maiming or being maimed. it is very easily a multi-layered sentiment!
however, i could still take this or leave it romantically, hence my earlier statement of favorabe rather than unabashed gushing and swooning. this is a ship i like, but i don’t read mordecai as crushing on viktor per se? i’ve always viewed his extreme relationship with atlas as puppy love that’s half bred from devotion, something not entirely genuine but also still genuine enough, which makes for a nice parallel between that and rocky’s bond with mitzi. his rivalry with atlas’ wife and his oddities such as wearing his boss’s shirts read as girlish crush behavior, typical things one does when believing themselves enamored, you know? naturally his views and feelings for atlas aren’t quite that simple nor easy to parse, and i’m not trying to simplify them in any way! i just believe he had a torch for atlas, and thus didn’t carry another for anyone else, at least not as intensely. whatever feelings he might have for someone would always be second to atlas, who was his very reason for living and breathing every day, who was his answer and justification and eventually? his obsession. in many ways i think mordecai was too wrapped up in atlas to properly develop feelings for viktor, even if there were inklings of something inside of him. ironically, the term something is what i love using when thinking about him with viktor or mitzi. mordecai is something with those two, he feels something, an unlabeled sort of thing he can’t really reach -- perhaps he doesn’t even want to, scared of what it might mean, what it could say. and it is different somethings! they are not the same feeling, what he feels towards those two, but it’s not fully known to him in the way that his feelings towards atlas was. it is not as clear! especially now, with things as awful as they are and with mordecai so full of turmoil he’s forcing himself to not share. he also has an intense aversion to emotions, obviously, which doesn’t help matters lol. this man could find some of the closure he’s so desperately seeking if he took more than a glance inside of himself, but then he wouldn’t be apart of this tragic tale, now would he?
still, in a better world where the lackadaisy’s gaggle of traumatized characters are allowed healing without any casualties or major losses, then i’d enjoy seeing a viktor and mordecai slowburn. where they decide to remain steadfast by each other’s side like once upon a time before, and they deal with life as a unit. maybe when given the space for it, mordecai’s affection can finally cement into real love for viktor -- the romantic kind, something sappy and disarming and maddening all at once. maybe viktor will allow such indulgences, finally able to touch upon his heart again and use it in a way that he hasn’t gotten to in a couple ages. or maybe he won’t share the specific feelings that mordecai possesses for him, but he’ll enjoy creating an entirely new thing that’s only for them : he can compromise and he can bend if mordecai is willing to bend just the same. they certainly wouldn’t be your typical couple, their emotions too stunted for regular dates or typical pda, but there’s something more special and intimate to them carving out their own space, and thus having their own secret world. a mix of platonic and romantic affections, a healthy dose of selfishness and desire they couldn’t ever have before but now can hoard so entirely, in small bearable doses. and there will always be some things they both won’t ever be able to shake ( mordecai disabling viktor, atlas, viktor’s daughter, etc ), although they could manage these aches and guilt better together, which is the exact sort of happy ending i’d want for them. if i may be so indulgent myself haha ( <- person who knows lackadaisy’s ending will be mostly dark and tragic but likes playing around with hopeful scenarios and what-if’s regardless! )
#my asks.#lackadaisy analysis.#lackadaisy#vikdecai#i’m still figuring out my opinions on things! still analyzing text and trying to figure out my own perspective …#so i hope this isn’t too wishy washy or incoherent!!#basically. tldr : i think their bond is so important and i could see mordecai letting his fondness become more#and i love them so bad <333 idc if it’s friendship or gay or whatever i’m obsessed with them#let it also be known that i’m a asexual mordecai truther#but i do think he likes men. like i don’t think he’s aromantic … just asexual …#anyway!! thank you sm for this ask!!! i love asks so i was very eager to answer this haha#hope this was okay!!!#( also i highly recommend the midnight special by shutterbird on ao3 btw!#wonderful read of mordecai and viktor’s relationship#and is one of the rare fics i’m using as a way to flesh out the characters and their relationships#so. a lot of my views probably allign with that fantastic read!! )#i also feel like i want to say more on this topic but for now this’ll do!
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Even more thoughts!
Emmrich has officially stolen my Rook's heart. Sorry, Lucanis, you had a good run, but your game just wasn't quite as effective on me as Emmrich's was.
This is fine, though, because my lowkey shipping of Lucanis with Neve got major vindication.
10,000 years of shame for Illario. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $100. What a dumbass.
Idk what happens if you save Minrathous, but if you don't, Neve's final confrontation with her personal villain is, uh...well, let's just say I'm a bit worried for her. Woof.
Worms! (if you know, you know)
Been lusting after Myrna's robe and I thought I finally found it, but it turns out it's a pants version that's basically the Mourn Watch starter outfit with a coat. I hate those pants so much. I just want that cool ass coat but alas the clothes underneath are awful.
Not sure how I feel about Shathann getting character development at the last second, but man, I feel so bad for Taash.
Harding and Taash are very cute together.
I didn't expect Harding to be the one to cancel the old man for romancing Rook. Davrin's reaction to the news is hilarious, though.
The Lucanis and Davrin drunk scene is priceless.
Crying big ugly tears for Bellara.
MANFRED!!! BIGGER, UGLIER TEARS FOR MY SON!!!!
Harding's banters with Lucanis about dreaming are so funny and often relatable.
The choice at the end of Emmrich's arc is heinous. Thanks, BioWare. I will never recover.
Never over the fact that the Veilguard has a book club. Love these nerds.
"I think we're out of onions. Again." XDDDD
I love how between banters with Neve and a codex entry about Manfred, it's pretty clear that Lucanis is a Union Man, or should I say Guild Man. He is all about fair compensation for labor. I know this isn't necessarily surprising, since he's a guild assassin, but I'm very much enjoying the fact that it comes up in game.
I support Bellara and her writing aspirations.
Lmao, Rest In Annoyance, Johanna. Enjoy watching/listening to Emmrich woo his girlfriend and not being able to leave. Enjoy Manfred routinely walking up to you to (in his own way) call you a nasty bitch.
Also love the banter where Emmrich's like "Why the FUCK did you think it was a good idea to build a mech, Johanna???"
Highly recommend bringing Lucanis/Neve and Taash/Harding along for each other's personal quests if they're together or even just at the flirting stage, because you get good shippy stuff.
Earning Solas' respect is so satisfying. That's right, experience growth, bitch!
Haven't done Davrin's big final arc quest yet, but I'm fully prepared to get emotional, given how things went with everyone else's arcs.
Some fun DATV things I'm experiencing:
Playing as female Rook makes the first few quests until you get Lucanis very Girls Night, which I really started to notice after a friend pointed it out and she is so right.
Neve is bestie.
Lucanis' intro cinematic made me feel so attacked. That shit was so my brand lol.
Lucanis and Neve's banter is hilarious and if I don't romance Lucanis I may end up shipping him with Neve.
Did Bellara's first personal quest and almost cried. Hit me a little close to home.
Neve's hangout quest was delightful. I want to chat and snack and walk around with her all day.
Neve and Bellara's developing friendship is so fun. I want to see a scene where Lucanis gets involved in their cooking adventures.
Shopping and getting coffee with Lucanis was like Oh No He's Thoughtful And Charming And I'm Weak.
Chose Lucanis over Neve in that one decision that made me want to scream and now she's hardened and I'm so sorry bestie I was thinking of the defenseless people and I will never be okay again.
Varric playing mentor to Rook got me right where it hurts. He's there for when you need an adultier adult to tell you that you're doing okay and that he's proud if you. I cry forever.
Assan and Manfred are my SONS and I LOVE THEM and I make the most ridiculous noises when they are on screen. THEY ARE SUCH GOOD BOYS.
The quest to acquire Emmrich is fucking delightful if you're a nice Mourn Watcher and you bring Bellara along. Just three huge nerds enjoying each other's company while doing dangerous shit.
Davrin and Emmrich's banter is like two dad's comparing notes.
As a Watcher, Myrna kinda feels like my mentor-mom, which is funny.
More thoughts to come. Just wanted to scribble down a few things so far for the people to let y'all know I'm having a fucking blast.
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
do you have any thoughts on the story of abraham and isaac? my parents talk about it and praise abraham for being willing to kill his son which..... scares me to say the least, and i'd love to hear your perspective as someone who seems more well-adjusted
Where I am now, it disgusts me more than anything. The interpretation of "I'm willing to sacrifice your life if I was told to" feels like the step before "I put you into this world and I can take you out of it." It's entitlement to a child, who is an independent individual, just because they are dependent on you for survival. I prefer the interpretation of understanding the actions you're taking and the reasons why (like how there's multiple religions that don't eat pork because it was so unsafe to eat at the time), especially if it's at someone else's expense.
Where I was in the thick of it all, it gave me morbid comfort that scares me now. I had fantasies of being a martyr for the church and the idea of being the next Isaac was just so appealing. Being a hand-selected sacrifice chosen by the Good Lord Himself? Sign me the fuck up, babey!
I think if I admitted that to my family, they'd be horrified.
It's another one of those stories or beliefs where I think the majority of christians just regurgitate what they've heard. It's a point of pride and devotion, but there's no personal reflection or cross-cultural awareness of it. Lean not unto your own understanding and whatnot. It's the potential that scares me the most, like the Quiverfull movement with the Duggars or Turpins. I'm sure there's stories now, but I can't remember them off the top of my head
(Also I will be telling my therapist someone on Tumblr called me "more well-adjusted" thank you anon)
#My therapist has called me 'surprisingly well-adjusted' before#He has since retracted that title and given it back multiple times#I don't know if you relate more to the 'Scared of my parents for praising that' or the 'Scared that I was okay with that' part#maybe both#either way the cycle ends here with you#No more bible quips and quotes that harm you and others. You find your own understanding and eventually it feels nice#It doesn't at first I will admit that. At first it feels like you're gonna go to Hell Right Here Right Now#But eventually you learn to trust yourself. It's a slow process. I've been in therapy for a good 6-7 years now#But one day you wake up and notice life feels more authentic. You feel like your values matter (and they actually do!)#And again it's slow. It's in bits and piece and back and forth. My worst habit is switching something from religious to moral#I highly recommend this type of therapy called ACT it's a CBT subtype#I'm usually not a fan of cbt so u know it helps if I recommend a subtype of it#CBT shit is so cheap I got a workbook from the library#this isnt relevant to the post but#my cat is trying to steal my burger king rn#it gets better (I have a cat) but progress isn't linear (eating burger king)#ex christian#religious trauma#anon tag
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm gonna be meta for a little bit, but huge shout out to George Lever (Sleep Token's previous producer).
Like, don't get me wrong, I love Carl Bown (he's worked with soo many of my favourite bands and killed it), and I love that Vessel himself got involved in the producing process of TMBTE. The album is amazing, everything sounds extremely clean and professional, and very, very concise.
But George Lever? That guy has a way with music that just... It's very innate. I think One was self-produced (although I'm not entirely sure), but everything else apart from TMBTE was produced by him - and you can tell.
There's this very raw and organic feeling to his work that I think it's quite rare to find nowadays. Especially the drums - I really wish he could've been the one mixing it for the last album because man, he just gets it.
When I first listened to Eden, I remember thinking "man, this drummer is insane". But then I went all the way back to One and slowly made my way to TPWBYT and ket me tell you, Jaws' drum line left me flabbergasted. I know that George and ii have been friends/working together for quite a while prior to ST, so maybe that's one reason why. But they just work so well together, everything sounds so clear and crisp, it feels almost impossible.
This is not to discredit the amazing, fenomenal work done on TMBTE - there's a reason why it's my favourite album and why it gained the traction it did - nor to downplay ii's insane skills (as if one could ever do that, he's just that good). But George's work with ST is just so, so brilliant, and I really needed to put it out there.
It's been a while since I've checked in on him, but it seems he's a bit inactive nowadays? Idk. Whatever the reason why he's no longer working with them, or why he's a bit mia (or was for a while), I wish him all the best, and I'm just so thankful for all his hard work.
#his work on tpwbyt in particular is just - fantastic#i do think it speaks volumes to the kind of artists vessel and ii are#they're obviously incredibly talented and knowledgeable and they have a very genuine approach to their work#they seem to be very careful and particular in choosing the people they work with and how their music is supposed to sound#if you haven't seen George's q&a on the subreddit i highly recommend you do. also his yt channel#i love the way he talks about his work and mindset. it's so very interesting#all of this to say that one of the reasons st is so successful comes from the amazing team behind it and all those surrounding them#it really makes a difference when you have the right people working with you. and it makes me appreciate all the background people even more#cus at the end of the day sleep token is not just 2 or 4 or 7 people - it's everyone involved#excuse my ramblings but yeah. feeling very grateful on this friday night#george lever#sleep token#darya is unhinged
33 notes
·
View notes